peace

I've been struggling with peace lately 

I know that it's not just a feeling or a place where everything is ok. 

I've been restless and almost anxious when it comes to my surroundings and choices. 

Right now my husband and I are both students... so life daily routines are constantly the same. 

Get up

Get school work done

Go to work

Make dinner

Attempt to relax

But this routine has found me feeling more tired, not for lack of sleep but from lack of purpose. 

I know that schooling is a journey. You say yes to that trip and you have to see it through in order to feel the sense of accomplishment and final reward. However, I know that you can find peace and purpose while on the journey. 

This is where my struggles began. I can be impulsive and want immediate change when I'm feeling like life has become monotonous. My wise husband recently reminded me that sometimes you have to take a step back to appreciate the journey you are really on, even when it feels tiresome or simply lacking any real spark. 

These pictures were taken on a two month missions trip to India in 2006

If you were to examine the physical things on the trip it was full of: 

dirt

strange smells

walking in urine

food that leads to being hospitalized

new clothes

strange beds

cows everywhere

But when I look back on those two months my heart aches to go back. It's in those situations, where you are stretched, that true growth is given the opportunity to begin. 

I chose to say yes to the uncomfortable and see beauty and find peace in a place that was completely uncomfortable. 

That is the realization that I have been reminded of. I may not be in a foreign country but in my own home surrounded by many comforts. However, the same challenges arise. Am I going to choose to say yes to the peace that comes from Christ or am I going to try (in my own strength) to make up what I think my peace  should look like (clean house.. orderliness...)

 I have to ask myself if I'm willing to let it all go for what I already KNOW is better or maintain my sense of control? 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

- John 14: 27

This is where my heart longs to be

In a place of surrender to the Father of peace, He doesn't say that it is going to look perfect but it will be perfection because true unashamed peace affects every area of our lives and releases us to truly live. 

My hope and challenge for this year is peace. 

*Linking up with the Wiegands and Apples of Gold